It only takes 8 clicks…

Posted on April 12, 2009
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness, Breaking news, A "How-to" tutorial of insanity | Leave a Comment

Apparently, it only takes 8 clicks on a stun gun to knock you out cold.

The other day I had a conversation at work with my boss and a consultant we work with about childhood adventurousness. (Spell check tells me that adventurousness IS a word) Bear in mind, they are both men. They began with typical childhood games increasing in dangerousness incrementally and had settled on inhaling helium from a tank because it’s better, (Why better? You ask. Because there’s MORE.) when all of a sudden…

Consultant: Did you know it takes 8 clicks on a stun gun to knock you unconcious?

Me & Boss: …?

Consultant: No really, we used to play with it. You get quite a buzz! (A-hyuk)

Boss: Are you SERIOUS?

Me: Wait! Wait! How did you determine that?

Consultant: Uhh….

Me: Is there like a warning on the label? In the event of self-use, 8 clicks and you WILL lose consciousness. Do not use in shower.

Consultant: Uhh….

Boss: *Choking on laughter*

Me: *Cracking up so hard I can barely talk* Can you imagine? I can see it now! Click. Nope. Click. Nope. Click. Nope. Click… yep, that did it.

Boss to me: THIS is the guy were counting on for the project.

I realize that boys are stupid in general and dangerous in little bursts but this was a bit excessive. The thing is… I want to test the theory… Any volunteers?

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Trust me… I am a licenced professional. But not really. I just like to think I am.

Posted on April 5, 2009
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Irony Anyone?, Stupidity and randomness, Breaking news, A "How-to" tutorial of insanity | Leave a Comment

What is it about women that we believe we are all innately hairdressers disguised as lawyers, office workers, waitresses, and police women?

Standing in front of the home hair dye aisle at the store this weekend, I did the flip back and forth over blond or red, blond or red?

Blond. I decided because I am a hairdresser, rather adept at home dying, just that stupid.

So, home I go with a home bleaching kit, dye and toner.

4 hours later, my hair is an intriguing shade of banana yellow and tangerine orange. No amount of bleach or toner is ridding me of the reddish tones not to mention that the light colour washes me out completely anyway. So I do the walk of shame.

You know it, the mad dash from the car to the all night pharmacy with Coco the Clown hair tucked under a baseball cap because it is simply TOO embarrassing to be seen with banana hair and orange highlights (lowlights?)

I debate endlessly whether or not I want to bring the pharmacist in on my humiliation while I stand perusing the aisle once again. Now I don’t know if I choose the red colour I had originally contemplated, it will turn my hair red or pink, so I cave and ask the pharmacist. Who doesn’t know!

It’s not enough that I have to come clean to her; she goes and asks EVERYBODY ELSE in the store if they know what to do. Nobody does. So she looks it up online and comes back assuring me that as long as I go darker, it should be fine.

So I wind up buying the exact shade that I was looking at in the first place when I debated the red-blond issue.

I’m a red head. It looks OK but my hair feels like a horse’s mane for all the shit I put in it this weekend. Now I need a haircut really badly.

I wonder if I should go shoulder length or really short? Bet I could cut it myself….

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