Australia censors the fat man

Posted on November 15, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness, Breaking news, A "How-to" tutorial of insanity | 2 Comments

I sat in the car yesterday morning listening to the most incredulous discussion about Santa. Apparently, some people in Australia have deemed his jolly “Ho ho ho!” as scary for little kids and offensive to women.

*Pauses here to let the shock and amazement at enormous stupidity sink in*

Ready yet? I cannot even imagine how some little minds out there have managed to influence big companies into regulating what Santa says. In fact, they are trying to replace ‘Ho ho ho’ with ‘Ha ha ha’

??!!?!?!?

What the…? Why is that less scary? And if society managed to drag thier filthy minds out of the gutter for even a nano-second, they might not try to turn the most beloved of all people, all around the world into some fat foul-mouthed pimp.

Here’s the news story running on nine MSN. It’s obviously hit the fan around the rest of Australia and in fact, the world.

Apparently, I’m not the only one flabbergasted by the incredible strides society has taken in this, the new millenium.

Bah! Humbug!

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Dishonest people and car dents

Posted on October 4, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness | 2 Comments

So I went to the smash repair today to have my car assessed for my insurance company.

I jump ahead…

Last week, on Chloe’s birthday, or to be more precise 15 days after I got my new car, I parked as usual in the city car park across the street from my office. It’s one of those paid places with a boom and security guards. When I returned to my car there was a BIG HUGE DENT in the rear passenger side door and wheel well. I freaked out.

I called Brian in tears and told him what happened. He calmed me down and suggested I check the windscreen for information….nothing. The car next to me at the time was very obviously not the car that did the damage. So, I can only assume that whoever did it, drove off or parked elsewhere to hide their blunder.

This brings me to present where i had the car assessed today. It’s still going to be about a month or more before I can have it repaired. In the meantime, I’m driving around like this…

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Why don’t kids ever listen?

Posted on September 27, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness, Breaking news, They never should have let me be a mother | 10 Comments

Today, I was barely in work for 10 minutes when I get a phone call from Brian.

“Connor has pricked himself with a syringe that he found on the way to school.”

After willing my stomach back into it’s usual position with great difficulty I managed to hear the whole story.

Apparently, on the way to school, Connor saw something shiny in the grass and without even thinking about it, he leaned down and picked it up at which point it jabbed him in the thumb. Upon realising what he was holding, he looked around further and saw the cap for it, which he placed on the syringe and then left it where he found it.

He told his teacher what had happened as soon as he got to school and they sent another teacher to retrieve the offending object and called Brian to advise us what had happened.

Brian then called the Medical Centre nearby who recommended that he go to Princess Margaret Hospital. When he called the hospital, they said it’s really not that urgent and to take him to the GP to get blood tests done to check for Hepatitis and H.I.V. among other things.

What a panic. I’ve been carrying my stomach in my knees most of the day and can’t help but worry about the slimmest of slim chances that he may have contracted something that could affect him the rest of his life and even the duration of his life!

I remember having many conversations about not touching strange objects on the way to and from school. We’ve been over it a million times! There have been syringes found before in the bush that borders the school as well as snakes and other nasties that could potentially be harmful.

“GO TELL A TEACHER .”

“DON’T TRY TO GET IT YOURSELF.”

“NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS.”

“NEVER STICK YOUR FINGERS WHERE YOU CAN’T SEE THEM.”

Now we have an agonizing week-long wait to get the results of the blood tests.
Why don’t kids ever listen?

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Advertising gone too far?

Posted on September 23, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness | 2 Comments

A little while ago I had to take the train to and from work for a week while the old car was in the shop and I
noticed this banner on the inside of the rail line across from the platform on which I caught my train.

I was surprised by the ‘In-your-face’ photo of a man with an amputated arm warning people of the dangers of crossing on the tracks to reach another platform rather than using any number of stairs, escalators and bridges. I would have thought that common sense would dictate that people don’t run across live tracks in front of regularly passing trains but I suppose there are always a few idiots who’ll do anything stupid in a hurry or on a dare.

I find it amazing how adverts have changed over the years to use images that would simply not have been tolerated 10 years ago. Images of cancer riddled lungs and ulcerated mouths on cigarette packages, crack addicted teens with thinning hair, revolting teeth and jaundiced pock and scar marked skin in anti-drug commercials and dead, mangled, bloody bodies in drink-driving ads.

I know the intent is to shock us into the proper behaviour of upstanding citizens and healthy adults but is it really helping children learn or just desensitizing them to the world around them? When I was 12, if I had seen someone who had just been in a car crash with broken limbs, head trauma and masses of blood, I would have been in terrible shock, probably close to vomiting but my kids are so blase about these ads…they barely even register!

So, has advertising gone too far? Or do you reckon it’s an effective method of stupidity prevention?

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Road Rage

Posted on July 11, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness | 2 Comments

I was watching a news show the other day when a story came up that I found hard to believe. The interview was with a woman who had been the victim of road rage. I must admit, when I hear the term “road rage” I automatically think of places like New York City or Los Angeles or some other fast-driving, aggressive city. First, the story…

This woman was entering the free way with her baby son in a car seat in the back. She merged into the next lane (thereby getting out of the exiting lane) and the driver coming up behind her threw a fit. He pulled up beside her and shouted abuse while gesturing emphatically. Obviously, this was not enough to get across that he felt she’d cut him off, so he then proceeded to pull ahead of her, cut her off in her lane, then SLAM on his brakes forcing her to do the same. She lost control of her car, which bashed into the side wall and then rolled twice leaving her and her son dangling upside down in the car. She managed to get free but could not remove her baby until help arrived a few minutes later.

The driver of the other car, who MUST have seen the whole thing in his rear-view mirror, sped off and to my knowledge, has not yet been caught.

The woman suffered a broken collar bone, ripped off three of her nails and lost her pinky finger. The baby, thankfully, was unharmed.

Now, this is the part that freaked me out a bit. This all happened about 2 exits from where I get on and off the free way everyday to go to work. Yep, good old Perth. Sleepy little Perth. Easy going, beach loving, surfer-style, laid back PERTH. Impossible! And yet, it happened.

I’ve never even had anyone flip me off before, much less abuse me or attempt to “get even” however, this brings me to my next worry. How many people are capable are this? And more importantly, could I be capable of such heinous behaviour?

I must admit, I really hate being behind a slow-poke. I cannot stand it when people don’t indicate and I loathe when people come screaming around blind corners of the car park in MY lane! I do an awful lot of muttering to myself and even talk to the other driver under my breath.

“Ok, where you going, buddy? Oh, you ARE turning right! Thanks for indicating, Mate! Sheeeeeesh!”

“Oi! Speedy, where’s the fire?”

“Move over Grampa, 60 in and 80 zone for crying out loud. The left lane is for slow-pokes.”

I also find myself saying, “You stay in your lane, and I’ll stay in mine,” an awful lot. This seems to amuse the kids to no end.

Does this mean there are a lot of bad driver’s about, or am I just too impatient? I certainly can’t imagine being bold enough to give someone the finger, much less yell at them, but I suppose I’m not a very confrontational person. This convinces me that I just don’t have it in me to be on the giving end of a road rage incident but that’s not going to stop someone else from abusing me!

Guess I’d better make sure I’m a good middling driver. Not too slow, not too fast, don’t cut people off no matter how desperate you are to change lanes, stay in your own lane, don’t cut corners, always indicate and for goodness sake, don’t make eye contact!

I’m muttering already…

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