My feet survived the night but my finger didn’t make it.

Posted on May 17, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Irony Anyone?, Stupidity and randomness | Leave a Comment

Whew! I was so worried I would wake up this morning to find that they had gone a-wandering while I was sleeping.
“Stuff this crap! We’re walking.”

“Yea, you see how she abuses us? We don’t have to stand for this! Let’s go!”

Maybe I’m delirious from the pain. Delayed reaction.

In any case, I have today off so no panicked wardrobe-tossing looking for a pair of shoes that might keep me comfortable and looking smart. In fact, I think I won’t be working again until next week, which is OK because I really should get some housework done. This, however might prove to be a bit of a problem. I can vacuum and mop (I love my floors clean and I’m a bit OCD about it) but anything that gets my hands wet won’t do.

You see, in my foot-pain induced haze last night, I tried to dry my brand new self sharpening kitchen knife (Mother’s Day present from the kiddos) with my left hand. I am not ambidextrous. The knife sliced through the tea towel and right into my unsuspecting index finger.

It hurt.

Chelsea, who was standing right there when it happened had this look of sheer panic on her face and all the colour dropped to her feet. So I, being a caring mother and not wanting to upset my child, laughed it off as I immediately applied pressure and ran cold water over it suppressing the urge to cry. Connor, my dear, loving little boy was more interested if there is blood on the knife. Boys!

After a few minutes, I’ve realized that it’s still really bleeding every time I remove pressure so I get a paper towel and wrap it tightly and go to find Brian, who is outside with his brother Colin. I’ve collected myself by this time and casually mention that I’ve practically severed a digit and would you mind, Darling, chopping the onion so I can get dinner on?

Brian takes a look at the damage and clucks his tongue at me like a grandma “What did you do that for?”

Like I planned it.

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Evening at the Moon and Sixpence

Posted on May 5, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Stupidity and randomness | 2 Comments

Last night my friend Maggy had a “leaving do” with her friends from work. She left a few weeks ago rather abruptly and the girls she worked with miss her terribly so they wanted to have a little party for her.

She decided on The Moon and Sixpence in Woodvale for a meal and a few drinks. Now, “a few drinks” for Maggy (a true scot and my best friends here in Oz) means completely under the table for me. LOL Her friend Jenny (back of head pictured left) was great fun and had her eye on a very attractive gentleman who we dubbed “Mr. Salt-and-pepper” due to his hair. I was going to attempt to get a picture of him but alas he left before I could work up the courage to ask. LOL

Maggy’s work-mates were all very sad to see her go and brought her flowers and gave her a lovely gift of a gold bracelet to remember them by. We had a nice meal of chicken ceasar salad (all of us!) and then proceeded to empty the pub of alcohol! We closed the place down and had a great time doing it. “The girls”, as she refers to them, were all very nice and I really enjoyed meeting them all.

This morning, I’m only the tiniest bit thick-headed as a result of the many sambuka shots Maggy’s husband Mark kept pouring down my throat. I jokingly told him I’d be vomiting his name when I got home last night. “Maaaaaaaaaaaaaark” but my stomach spared me this atrocity. I do however have a smokers hangover. Being in a pub all night with a horde of smokers is hard on the lungs.

The best part? I get to do it all again tonight for Brian’s Cricket wind-up! There should be about 70 people there and it’s looking to be quite the party. I haven’t partied this much since I was 18 and I’ve fallen dreadfully out of practice. This is what happens when you have kids young… you miss your party days in your 20’s but pick up where you left off in your 30’s and 40’s! I’ll let you know if I’ve survived this weekends abuse to my body tomorrow….maybe.

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The Best 15 bucks I ever spent…

Posted on April 24, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Irony Anyone?, Stupidity and randomness | 1 Comment

…was on a little bone dog tag that has Tomi’s name and my mobile number engraved in it. You see, this weekend the little escape artist ran away…twice.

The first time, Saturday, the screen door mustn’t have latched properly when I drove Chloe to a friends house. We were not even there yet when my phone rang. It was Brian.
“Do you have the dog?”
“No, what do you mean do I have the dog?”
“He’s not here.”
“Crap”

So, after dropping Chloe off I rush back home, forgoing my trip to Kmart for (ironically) a dog bed. A few blocks away from the house the phone rings again. It’s some strange lady.

“Hello?”
“Yes?”
“I think your dog followed me home.” (She thinks he followed her home? Isn’t she sure?)
“Oh, thank goodness! Where do you live?”
“I’m at *an address a few blocks away*”
“I’ll be right there.”

So off I go, after all it’s only a minute away. Parking outside her house I can hear Tomi talking. He’s a very vocal dog and often whines just get your attention. We call it talking (can you tell we are dog people?) So I’m sure I have the right place.

Once inside I find him playing with a Jack Russle Terrier and having a grand old time. I thank the lady profusely and head home where I find Brian, Jamie, Chelsea and Connor all out searching for the dog. I should have called but I was literally a minute away!

Chelsea is almost in tears, Connor is panicked, Jamie determined and Brian annoyed. They are all relieved the see Tomi in the back of my car.

Whew! Close call. Tomi is pretty stupid about cars and our biggest worry isn’t that he’ll get lost but that he’ll get hit. We make a point of stressing the need to PULL THE DOOR CLOSED behind you.
Roll on Sunday.

Jamie is standing in the doorway holding the screen door open with his body. *Sigh* Tomi makes a break for it and takes off with Jamie close behind, chasing him to the strains of Brian hollering “YOU IDIOT!”

This time, miraculously, Tomi listens when Jamie yells “Tomi, SIT!” for the umpteenth time and sits patiently on the footpath waiting for Jamie to collect him.

I’m seriously debating a zapping tool to keep him in…or to train the kids to keep the damn door closed!

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Hooray for Big Brother!

Posted on April 22, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Irony Anyone?, Stupidity and randomness | Leave a Comment

Yes, it’s that time again. The new season of Big Brother (Australia) starts tonight and I can’t wait. I have to admit that last year I was a tad disappointed with the housemates they chose. It really seemed like more of a beauty contest than anything else. Maybe now that Big Brother - Up Late (basically inmates showering and talking trash) is no longer allowed, they’ll be a bit more discrimiating about who they pick.

I’d love to see them focus more on intellect and interesting people (like BB 2005.) I loved Timmy, even if he was a scrawny little runt with an Albert Einstein intellect. He deserved to win!

There are meant to be some big surprises this year (as usual.) There is supposed to be a new “white” room, an ecologically aware house and NO PRIZE MONEY! I don’t know how they are going to pull that off.
Typically, each housemate gets a car and a bunch of prizes when they leave the house and the final housemate get $1 000 000. Not this year (or so they say.)

Well, you’ll know where I’ll be a 7:00 tonight. Don’t bother calling… I won’t answer ;)

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Liar, liar pants on fire!

Posted on March 20, 2007
Filed Under Australia - The land down under, Irony Anyone?, Stupidity and randomness | 1 Comment

I really despise lying in just about all circumstances. This is not to say that I didn’t do my fair share of lying when I was a teen but I suppose age has strengthened my morals and weakened my tolerance for liars.

Whenever we’ve caught the kids in a lie, they certainly hear about it. And write lines about it. And have plenty of time to think about the consequences of their decision to lie while they are grounded for it.

But what about when adults lie? I’ve recently caught someone I know in a lie. Now I know they’ve lied as do a few others, but there are others still, who bop along blissfully unaware that they have been deceived.

It’s not my place to correct their misinformed-ness, (ok I made that word up…sue me. At least I didn’t lie about it) but it really grinds me that I know they’ve been lied to.

How are we supposed to ask others not to lie when we have constant examples of how people get away with it? Not to mention trying to teach children to be truthful when adults all around them lie ALL THE TIME.

OK, I’ll step off my podium now…

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